Reflection

I started writing because my friend at school does it and part of me thought, well if she does it I can too! I am sitting tonight tired and weary without a whole lot to say and for some reason I am making time to write.  My posts were intended at first to be about teaching, mentoring, writing curriculum and the many academic things that I fill my days (and nights) with, but looking back at my posts only one is close to that subject.  I always write about what will make me feel better, my family. 

Family is a funny thing because it never is the perfect situation, comment, or story to be told.  There are always left over feelings about anything that happens.  At times I would like to hit a button and redo an entire year. I would love to erase the flock of seagulls hairdo in the Christmas card that year, or running away from home for a full 3 hours until my mom tracked me down, or age 20 (Yep the whole darn thing!) But then again these are the things that make up the fabric of who I am.

Last week I posted about my amazing daughter and how she is facing some trails in the near future with her eyesight.  Today I took some time to reflect. I thought about what if things had been different? What if I hadn't dated that loser? What if I had stayed at UW-Madison? What if we had waited a little longer than 3 months after the wedding to get pregnant? All of these questions resulted in the same idea for me, all of these things are what make me who I am.  Determined, intelligent, and passionate.  All those people touched my life and shaped it in some way that makes me better today because of what I learned from them.  These are the lessons that I can pass on, use as examples, and forge ahead. 

I think I write about family because they are everything that I ever dreamed about.  It is one of the things that I did right on the first try.  Again, there are times that the car gets pulled over and things aren't perfect but perfection isn't the goal. The journey is what makes up the fabric of who you are and Grace and I are going to weave a new pattern together that is our own, unique from everyone else. Now that's a beautiful thing, something to celebrate.